Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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