I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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