you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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