your thong is hanging out like whoa
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
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