Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
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