Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
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He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I think your dad took our porno
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
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He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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