hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Reggie can tackle my bush.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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