I love black thongs
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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