i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
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