my vag is so smooth its legendary
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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