Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
