Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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