chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
do nipples grow back?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
