Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
