I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
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