sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
