Rock
Scissors
Fuck
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Randomize
