Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
We have so much sex to catch up on
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
