Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Just puked most of my soul out..
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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