We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
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