how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
please come you make the beer taste better
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
