Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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