Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
it's like iHOP with fire
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
