summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I love having hate sex.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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