Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
