Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
