Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
