walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
