you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
