My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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