Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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