I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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