I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
