Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Randomize
