He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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