She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
