so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Someone shit on the floor
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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