Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
