i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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