Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
