the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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