Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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