Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
the liver wants what the liver wants
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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