it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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