i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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