Duck Duck Cougar?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
