just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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