I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
