I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
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