I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
