dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Do you have feelings for this penis?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
