My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
