I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
When did we convert life to cartoon?
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
