I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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