Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
