I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
