Joe is yelling at the trees again.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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