What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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