i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
