if you like me you must not know who I am
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
